If I Never Knew You Trilogy Bundle Read online

  "Just don't let me fall," I whispered between kisses.

  "Never," he whispered back.

  Orion's kissing was definitely the best I'd ever had. I felt so relaxed around him and, even though I was joking, his promise to never let me fall made me feel the safest I had felt since before my dad left. He kept an arm around me and I heard the noise of papers fluttering through the air as he cleared off space on his desk.

  Once he sat me on the desk, Orion didn't miss a beat. His mouth descended down to my neck, where he kissed me lightly. I wanted him to do more-I really did-but I knew it would have looked particularly suspicious to a lot of people if I had hickeys on my neck and my boyfriend was supposed to be out of town. Speaking of Damian, I had received only two texts and one phone call from him, so obviously he was not missing me very much, or he was just being thoughtless, which wouldn't surprise me. And you know what? I didn't really care anymore.

  The thought of Damian flew out of my head just as quickly as it shoved its way in as Orion nipped at my skin ever so lightly. His hand began moving over my side and stomach, just barely avoiding my breasts. I didn't like this avoidance, so I put my hand on top of his and guided it upward until it was in the right spot

  "Oh, you're getting into deep waters there, Mad," Orion whispered, trying to control his overwhelming lust. I just groaned as he lightly squeezed one of my breasts. We kissed again, this time more passionately than before. Any inhibitions and fears we might have had went out the window with our consciences. The hand on my back was moving in small circles, while the hand on my breast moved and squeezed lightly from time to time.

  "Not that I don't absolutely love this, but if we don't stop soon, I'm going to do something extremely bad and possibly make you late for work," Orion exclaimed breathlessly.

  "Okay," I managed to say, trying to get my breathing under control. We both sat down, with me in Molly's chair, which he had pulled over to his side of the room, and Orion in his. After a few minutes of down time, I told him that I had to leave for work.

  "You still have about an hour," Orion said.

  "Hmm, I need to change. I don't like changing at the restaurant now, since the staff bathroom's lock doesn't work anymore and no one is in a hurry to fix it.

  "You can change in here. I won't look." He said. I gave him a look. "What? I promise to turn away and keep my eyes shut."

  He stood up and went over to face the wall. I kept my eyes on him as I slid out of my jeans and shirt and into my uniform. There were some buttons on the back that I can get by myself, but I decided to throw Orion a bone.

  "Hey, would you help me?" I asked. Orion turned around. "There are some buttons on the back that I can't reach."

  "Sure," Orion said. I turned around and moved my hair out of the way as he came over. He did them up slowly, savouring the occasion, and then gently put his hands on my shoulders, before turning me around to be kissed again.

  I finished getting ready by brushing strands of hair out of my face, and putting the clip back into my hair, after I had pulled it up and wound it into a French twist at the back.

  "So, how do I look?" I inquired.

  "Drop-dead gorgeous," Orion complimented me, leaning against the door again.

  "Do I look like a girl who just spent some time making out with a guy?" I asked.

  "Nah, you look like ya always do-great," he assured me. I rolled my eyes and smiled. Then I looked at his desk and casually picked up a paper, even though I probably shouldn't have.

  "Which song are you looking at?" he asked.

  "It doesn't have a name." I said. "It's just sheet music. Looks like the conductor's copy with all the instruments on it."

  "Oh, I'm coming up with words for that one," Orion said. "But..." He came over and took the paper from me. "You can't find out about it until I play it."

  "Aw, why not?" I asked. "What's it about?"

  "That's for me to know and you to find out," Orion said. I raised an eyebrow, now very curious. "Don't start asking questions about it, Mad, especially when you've got to get to work."

  "Right," I said, pouting.

  "Want me to drive you over?" Orion asked.

  "It's not that far, Orion," I said. "You can walk me over if you want."

  "Well, my break was supposed to be over ten minutes ago," Orion said. "But who will notice? My boss is off sick today and I'm just doing some paperwork for him. I can work a bit later to make up the time."

  So we walked out of the library and headed to the restaurant. It was a lovely sunny day and I appreciated getting some exercise with a cute guy accompanying me.

  After a few minutes of walking, I said, "I wonder if you would like to drive my mom and Andy to the restaurant this evening and stay for dinner with them. I will join you later."

  Orion smiled. "Alright then, I will." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "But...you know...one of these days you and I should go on a date."

  "That won't happen unless we're both single," I said. Orion suddenly grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him.

  "Wait, what? So what the hell was that back there then?" Orion asked, throwing his hand backwards towards the library. I shook my head and shrugged. Orion threw his hands in the air and growled. Well, it sounded like a growl. "Do all you women go to a school and get taught how to act like this? Or is it just natural?" I stepped away from him as he started yelling. "Just tell me, Madison, because I really don't want to be wasting my time trying to figure you out."

  In my defense, I couldn't say why I made out with Orion in the library or why I wasn't single now, even though I knew I wasn't happy with Damian. Then there was the matter of Damian's temper if he found out about Orion and the financial help Damian had been giving our family, which Mom was starting to depend on. I guess I looked really freaked out as I started backing away from Orion, because his own face softened and he looked worried.

  "Oh shit, Mad," Orion said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

  "Yes, you did." I said. "Damn it, Orion. You say can't figure out girls-well, maybe they can't figure you out!" I spun around and half-jogged to work.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  I RUBBED MY eyes and yawned. Orion did come with Mom and Andy for dinner, but there was little conversation at the table, as Orion and I were not in the mood for socializing after our fight. Andy and Mom asked numerous times what was going on, but neither of us could give them convincing answers since we really didn't know ourselves.

  So now, five days later, it was a Wednesday night at home and I was stuck listening to Damian on the phone, talking about what had been happening that day. The good thing about Damian was that he was satisfied with me just making noises that agreed with him. I looked at the bill sitting on the table next to me. Mom really had to get around to paying it soon before it was overdue. Maybe I should give her some money towards it. I looked at the notebook on my lap. During the last few days, maybe inspired by hanging out with Orion, I had been writing a few poems, which were now turning into songs.

  "...and now I'm here being bored," Damian complained.

  "Aw," I said, scratching out a few words. I unintentionally yawned again.

  "Are you tired or something?" Damian asked.

  "Just, um, working a lot lately," I said. "Sorry, I have to go. Andy will be home soon and then we're having dinner," I lied.

  "Whatever," Damian said. I flinched at the tone, but was glad when he hung up. After the phone call, I looked at two little pieces of paper next to the bill. One had Nora's number, and the other had Orion's cell phone number. I shook my head and went back to writing.

  True enough, a few minutes later Andy walked through the front door, but he wasn't alone. Orion was with him. I looked up once, then back at my work.

  "There's spaghetti cooking on the stove if you're hungry," I said.

  "Cool," Andy said. I tapped the eraser on my pencil against the page, and bit my lower lip, trying to think of what I could put in this next line.

  "Taking up song writing,
are you?" I jumped, and quickly flipped my notebook over, so that Orion couldn't see what I had written. "Not going to let me see now?"

  "No," I said, sharply. I looked at the page in front of me and began doodling in the corner of the page instead. Orion sighed and I felt the couch sink slightly next to me, so I knew he had sat down.

  "Your mom is using her laptop in the den and Andy's playing video games again," Orion said. "I think this is a good opportunity for us to talk."

  "Why?" I asked, raising my head up.

  "For one thing, we didn't resolve the issue we discussed last time," Orion reminded me.

  "Damian is going to be back in a few days," I slipped.

  Orion frowned, but then his eyes turned to something behind me and, before I knew it, he was leaning across me, and had grabbed the bill. "

  What's this for?" Orion asked.

  "Water," I said. I held out my hand and told him to give it to me. But he held onto it and looked it over with one of those thinking frowns on his face. I sighed. "Orion, give it to me!"

  "Not right now," Orion said.

  "What are you going to do? Pay for it yourself?" I asked.

  "Sure," Orion said. I blinked.

  "I was just joking," I scoffed.

  "I wasn't," Orion replied. Again, that caught me off guard. He actually looked serious.

  "Orion you don't have to. You don't even live here. Why would you want to?"

  "Madison, we need a car!" Andy called.

  "That's the point to it," Orion said.

  "What are you going to do? Move in with us and start paying half the bills?" I asked, sarcastically.

  "Well, if you're offering," Orion said.

  "I'm not!" I cried. "It was a joke! We don't need your help, Orion." I grabbed the bill from him and ran up to my room.

  I know it might have been immature to storm off to my room when someone was just trying to help, but hey-I was eighteen. I was surprised I'd managed that long. Before my dad left, I was one of those popular girls who thought working for a living was as horrifying as having some big ugly monster tear off your face. Also, Andy never really liked me until Dad left. He was considered a geek because of his obsession with video games. He didn't think the life I had was all that interesting and there was a lot of sibling rivalry for Dad's attention. Then, Dad left one day and all of us, including Mom, bonded together through misery and financial need.

  "Madison," said Andy, as he poked his head into my room. "Do you think you could give Orion a break, maybe?" he asked. "You like him, I know. He really likes you, too, so don't drive him away."

  He came and sat next to me on the bed. I put my hand on his back and hung my head. "I've already lost a lot of things-so have you." He looked at me pointedly and I caught the message instantly.

  "Well, he left because Crystal called," Andy said. "He also told me to ask if you were still willing to go shopping with him this weekend."

  "Oh, right," I said. I ran over my work schedule in my head. "I guess so."

  "Okay, I'll tell him next time I see him," Andy said. "I'm gonna go to bed, alright?"

  "Alright...goodnight, Andy," I said. Andy hugged me and left my room.

  I sat awake for a long time. I had a nine to five shift the next day, so I wasn't overly worried about the sleep issue. At 11 p.m. the phone rang and I answered it quickly so that it didn't wake up Andy or Mom. "Hello?"

  "I'm coming home ahead of schedule." Damian's voice floated through the receiver. He seemed very pleased to be telling me that.

  "Ahead?" I asked. "How far ahead?"

  "I'll be home sometime Friday," Damian said. "I'll let you know when I find out for sure, because I expect you'll want to be at the airport."

  "Uh, of course," I said.

  "Good. There are some things I want to talk to you about, babe."

  "Oh? Such as?"

  "Just wait 'til I get home. Oh, and make sure you look hot for me, babe. I hope you've been a good girl while I was gone."

  "Yeah, of course," I said, trying to sound excited. There was something about the way he way he talked to me that freaked me out. "So...I'll see you Friday?"

  "Yep, get off work. Night, babe."

  "Night, Damian."

  I threw the phone on the bed and I laid there for half an hour, trying and failing miserably not to cry. I picked up the little card Orion had given me. I hesitated to call him at this hour, but I couldn't talk to anyone else about this, as I didn't want to get my other friends involved at this point. I dialed his number and listened to the ring.

  "Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

  "Orion, I'm sorry to call so late. I probably woke you up and..." I started rambling.

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Orion said. "Madison, calm down." He was whispering now.

  "Okay, I'll try," I said shakily. I heard him moving around and the sound of a door opening and closing. I frowned and tried to wipe the tears from my face.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, but couldn't help but start crying again. "You know it's nothing, sorry to have woken you..."

  "Hey, whoa, stop!" Orion shouted under his breath. I was so close to hanging up but I decided to hear him out. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

  "Damian called...and he's coming back the day after tomorrow," I said, again wiping tears from my eyes. "And he just freaked me out with the way he was talking to me. I...I just needed to talk to someone."

  "Okay, okay, calm down. Everything's alright." He sighed. "Sorry for whispering-Crystal's asleep in the next room."

  "Should I call back later?" I asked, not completely sure of what I was doing.

  "No, no, it's okay," Orion said.

  We talked for a bit longer, until I was calm and no longer crying. Then he asked if I had to work the next day and, swearing, I said that I did, so we reluctantly ended our conversation.

  I don't think there was one dream I had that night that didn't involve Orion.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE PHONE WAS ringing again. Why did it always have to ring when I was asleep? I started moving to grab it when I realized that Damian had spent the night, so it couldn't be him calling. I wondered who it could be.

  "Hello?" I answered, quietly.

  "Sorry about calling you so late," Orion said.

  I blinked. I hadn't spoken to him since I had called him before Damian came back and that was four days ago. I had gotten so distracted with Damian being back, but Orion was always at the back of my mind. "

  It's okay, Orion," I said. "How are you doing?"

  "Not bad. I just wanted you to know that Crystal and I split up," Orion said.

  My mind flew through a million thoughts and emotions. "

  What was the reason?" I finally choked out.

  "She's found a much better guy, so she says," Orion said. "That and she accused me of cheating on her."

  "Are you?" I asked.

  "Not really. There was only the one time with you and that wasn't much more than kissing," Orion said. I immediately thought to myself that we were cheating, even if we didn't want to admit it.

  "Madison, can you go to your uncle's bar tomorrow night? My band's playing again and there are a few new songs I think you'll like. You know that song I was working on that day at the library?"

  "Yeah,"

  "Well, I finished it," Orion said. "And I want you there to hear it."

  "I'd really like to go," I said, "but what about Andy?"

  "He's staying at Warren's place tomorrow, remember?" Orion said.

  Oh yeah, Andy and Warren were working on a school science project and, instead of coming home late, Andy was going to stay the night and go to school with Warren the next day.

  "Well, it looks like a go," I said, with some excitement.

  "Sorry again for calling so late, but I'm going to be rehearsing all day tomorrow," Orion said.

  "It's alright, Orion. I'm used to being woken by the phone," I remarked bitterly as I looked down at my deep-sleeping, oafish boyfriend.

  "I b
et," Orion said, equally bitterly. "I wish there was something I could do."

  "There's nothing, but thanks," I said.

  "There's something I have to talk to you about tomorrow," Orion added suddenly. "It was actually Andy's idea, but he told me to wait until the relationship with Crystal was completely finished. I don't wanna talk about it now, but you'll understand when you come to see the show tomorrow." I could practically hear his grin.

  "Oh, alright then. Good night, Orion," I said, giggling.

  After Orion bid me goodnight, I hung up and wiggled slightly, trying to put more space between Damian and myself. Only reluctantly did I fall asleep again.

  I rubbed my eyes and watched the guys in my band messing around. We'd been there since eleven in the morning and it was now four in the afternoon. I managed to trade days off with Molly so we could rehearse all day. We had finally gotten the song to where it sounded presentable and now the only thing I needed was to have Madison show up.

  When night finally rolled it, I kept an eye out for Madison. Turns out, she came in with Damian!

  I didn't even know the guy. I had never met him, never spoken with him and now I already wanted to kick his teeth out, from what I've been told about his antics. Of course, I've only heard this from Andy. Usually brothers hate their sisters' boyfriends, so it really shouldn't be that believable, but whenever I looked at Madison's face when Damian was mentioned...

  "Hey Orion, time to stop musing and start sound check, because the doors are going to be open soon," Christian, our bassist, said. I stood up and went over to the stage, before jumping up onto it.

  We practiced for another ten minutes and then we sat around at the bar to wait until we had to go on. A couple of the guys stayed backstage.

  And then there she was sitting by the door beside a guy who was barely bigger than me. I watched her carefully and, even from a distance, she didn't look very comfortable. Every time Damian looked at her, she forced a smile across her pretty face.